I've mentioned before that I have somehow been included on the Democrat Senatorial Campaign Committee's (DSCC) email list for some God-forsaken reason. I can assure you that it's provided many opportunities for amusement, as I continue to hear locally how important Claire McCaskill is to the DSCC, yet I fail to see her name mentioned in any of the races they're targeting.
The most recent email was supposedly penned by Senator Russ Feingold who, along with Senator John McCain, gave us some of the stupidest feel-good laws disguised as campaign finance "reform." Made him an instant hit in the eyes of some Americans, as far as the dems know, but in the eyes of those who pay attention, the McCain-Feingold law was a feeble attempt at seeking publicity while doing virtually nothing. I mean, really ... what else has Russ Feingold done that has been worthy enough to capture the attention of the national media?
Anyway, in the email he discusses how, "despite more than 10 attempts to allow oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Democrats lead the efforts to defeat this short-sighted proposal every single time." And, "when they (evil republicans) wanted to privatize Social Security, every single Democrat in the Senate stood firm in opposition and we won." I suppose they're happy with gas prices over $3/gallon in some parts of the states, and a measly 2% return on their investment into Social Security. What I've yet to see mentioned is that Social Security, if privatized, could be required to be invested in government securities, and we could kill about ten different birds with one stone! But I digress ...
The next part of the email suggests that the democrats want an opportunity to achieve their vision for America. Which brings up the all-important question: What IS their vision for America?
Now, we can all sit around and think about things like Michael Moore, Emily's List, Barbra Streisand and Rosie O'Donnell, but I think that even the democrats have figured out that those people/organizations are more likely to alienate the mainstream, rather than organize them, so they just take their money and keep them locked in the closet like evil deformed step children.
Later in the email, the good senator FINALLY lets us in on the deep dark secret, and all the details that surround it. AT LAST we all can be comfortable knowing what the democrats actually stand for! Here it is:
Wow! Let's go through this one at a time, shall we?
1) We're going to milk this dishonest presidency story as long as we can, and hope that it trickles to other races. After all, we've always been the party of honest, decent guys, and the country will buy it!
2) We're going to tell the truth to everyone, even if it means sacrificing military secrets. After all, we know more than the president, who is briefed daily, on military matters.
3) We don't know how we're going to do it, since we stand in the way of drilling on our own soil every time, as indicated in this very email, but by golly, we're going to become less dependent upon foreign sources!
4) We're going to create high paying jobs, because that's what we believe the government is supposed to do. And then we're going to over-tax and over-burden those prosperous people that take those jobs or own stock in those businesses that flourish because ... well ... there are people out there that just don't want to work, and they need help, too! You greedy bastards need to pay your fair share!
5) UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE!!!! Because we WANT to have that control of an additional 14% of the economy, so we can destroy it, just like they have in the UK and Canada! Need your gall bladder taken out? Make an appointment for next November!
6) Retirement security? What retirement security? We want those of you who can afford to stick around till the end of Social Security to continue to receive your 2% return.
Makes you want to stand and sing the national anthem, doesn't it?
Thank God republicans control the house, senate and White House. Although I can't say I'd give them the greatest marks for job performance, I WILL say that it still beats the hell out of the alternative!
You know, I can translate the entire DSCC email in a few words:
We know his poll numbers are low, so we'll take advantage of that fact by screaming at the top of our lungs, "WE'RE NOT GEORGE BUSH," and hope that the public doesn't really find out what is in our party's platform!
