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Just to the Right: 2007-01-21

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Democrats' Agenda in Washington? Buy The Book!

I've stated before that for some odd reason, I've found myself on the email list from the Democrat Senate Campaign Committee in Washington, headed up by that real peach of a guy, Senator Chuck Schumer.

I didn't wish to be removed from the list, for many of the same reasons why I choose to read the St. Louis Post Dispatch and the First Capitol News -- it's always good to know what the enemy is up to.

I endured, all last year, letters from Ted Kennedy, Hillary and Bill Clinton, Jay Rockefeller, Harry Reid, Schumer and others about the need to push the democrats into the majority, YET ... they never once listed an agenda. All they did was criticize President George W. Bush and call him names. (Example from the current email, "we have to get beyond the President's disingenuousness and failures...")

NOW, Senator Schumer offers us a glimpse of what the democrat agenda really is! I was actually so thrilled to see, in the subject line of the email, "State of the Union Response: Here's What Democrats Stand For," thinking that I was going to FINALLY get an idea of what it is that they DO support, since they didn't bother to tell the American people PRIOR to the November elections.

Imagine my surprise when I read, in the text of his email to his party faithful, that you have to BUY HIS BOOK in order to read the democrat agenda!!

A quick look on Amazon.com shows that the agenda is available for $16.47 if you buy it in the next 3 hours and 42 minutes (as of the time I'm typing this), but the regular price is $24.95.

So, for a mere twenty-five bucks, we can all learn the secrets of the democrats, and the agenda (and spin) that they plan to impose on the American people.

A quick glimpse at his promotional materials will show you that he believes that democrats will help America by:

Increasing reading and math scores by 50% by dramatically increasing the federal involvement in public education.(Where in the Constitution does it state that education is the role of the feds?)

Reducing property taxes that fund education by 50%. (These are state-imposed taxes that were, for the most part, approved by voters of the state. Feds can't stop them!)

Reducing our dependence on foreign oil by 50%. (By taking away tax incentives for oil companies to enhance research and development, and forbidding drilling in oil-rich Alaska?)

Reducing abortions by 50% while always protecting a woman’s right to choose. (Perhaps birth control in the water supply?)

Reducing cancer mortality by 50%. (Okay, I've seen enough! Senator Schumer really IS God!)

I wonder if the book reveals the secret handshake, as well ...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Book Reports

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic... $29.99
Clinton... $29.99
Titanic... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton... Over 3 hours to read
Titanic.... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton... Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton... Ditto for Bill.
Titanic... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton... Ditto for Monica.
Titanic... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton... Let's not go there.
Titanic... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton... Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton... Monica...let's not go there, either.
Titanic... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton... Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing.

Monday, January 22, 2007

The Legacy of the Cubs

This was recently sent to me, and it was too good to pass up.

I realize we're all getting geared up for the Super Bowl right now, but let's keep in mind -- pitchers and catchers have to report in just a few weeks!



Twenty major events that have occurred since the Chicago Cubs last laid
claim to a World Series Championship:


1. Radio was invented; Cubs fans got to hear their team lose.
2. TV was invented; Cubs fans got to see their team lose.
3. Baseball added 14 teams; Cubs fans get to see and hear their team lose to more clubs.
4. George Burns celebrated his 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th and 100th birthdays.
5. Haley's comet passed Earth twice.
6. Harry Caray was born...and died. Incredible, but true.
7. The NBA, NHL and NFL were formed, and ALL Chicago teams won championships in each league.
8. Man landed on the moon, as have several home runs given up by Cubs pitchers.
9. Sixteen U.S. Presidents were elected.
10. There were 11 amendments added to the Constitution.
11. Prohibition was created and repealed.
12. The Titanic was built, set sail, sank, was discovered and became the subject of major motion pictures, the latest giving Cubs fans hope that something that finishes on the bottom can come out on top.
13. Wrigley Field was built and becomes the oldest park in the National League.
14. Flag poles were erected on Wrigley Field roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants. Those flag poles have since rusted and been taken down.
15. A combination of 40 Summer and Winter Olympics have been held.
16. Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown; several thanked Cubs pitchers.
17. Bell-bottoms came in style, went out of style and came back in.
18. The Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox and the Florida Marlins have all won the World Series!
19. The Cubs played 14,153 regular-season games; they lost the majority of them.
20. Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma and New Mexico were added to the Union.

Great Quotes in Cubs History

"Noise pollution can't be that much of a problem [at Wrigley]. There's nothing to cheer about." --State Rep. John F. Dunn, arguing for the installation of lights at Wrigley Field.

"If I managed the Cubs, I'd be an alcoholic." --Whitey Herzog.

"There's nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn't help." --Bill Buckner.

"You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard." –Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season.

"The Cubs were taking batting practice, and the pitching machine threw a no-hitter." --Radio deejay.

"The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets." --Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman.

"Would the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up immediately? They are beating the Cubs 4-0 in the 7th inning." -- Radio deejay.